Almost Human

Tonight, Mama made me a bowl of brown rice and cottage cheese. From the moment I smelled that human food, I started walking like a human on my hind legs until it was served. If only I had opposable thumbs. Then my parents would think I WAS human and feed me whatever they are eating every night.

Desire

Sweet scrumptious cat food. How I miss you. The 2 daily rations of Wellness dog food my so-called guardians give me barely give me then energy to make it through the day. Why must my dessert be imprisoned behind this barrier. How long must I endure this senseless torture.

Pugazuma's Revenge

I'm not having a good week. I don't enjoy puking and going #1 out of my #2. I try telling my parents this but they don't seem to understand. They're not verbally punishing me. When I have an accident they seem really empathetic, but on the other hand, they're taking privileges away from me: First and foremost, they're putting the new great tasting cat food where I can no longer reach it. I hate these mixed signals.

Lazy Day

Some days I just don't feel like doing anything but sleeping. Sometimes I get frustrated that my brothers don't have more energy. They're not big fans of fetch or tug of war. But on days like this, their apathy can be contagious.

Kimo

I'm feeling much better today. On my walk tonight I played a little with my friend Kimo. That dog has springs for feet and is more interested in his tennis ball than me, but he's real fun to chase.

The Vicious Cycle

When my adopted parents first brought me home, I figured it was okay to relieve myself wherever. Soon I found that this was discouraged inside the house. Well, sometimes I get sick and I don't make it outside. Now I'm turning 30 in dog years next month and having accidents at this age is downright embarassing. So naturally I try and cover my tracks by eating the evidence. Unfortunately, I'm never very successful at concealing and this only makes me sicker.

A Little Indigestion

Last night I was droppin' stink bombs like it was nobody's business. This should've been their first clue. After I was put to bed in my crate, I wimpered a little. True, when they let me out I ran to the bed instead of the door, but still, this should've been their second clue. This morning I yelped to them from the crate, but by this time it was too late. I thoroughly soiled my bedding as if I went to town with a super-soaker watergun filled with liquid poo. Now I've been relegated to the bathroom. This sucks.

All Dressed Up and Nowhere to Go

Dad said it was going to rain today but thus far there hasn't been a drop.

Fruit Junky

I got a serious problem when it comes to fruit. Like most addicts, I began with what I call a "gateway" fruit. Bananas were my first weakness. The appeal of the slow peal was something not many pugs could resist. Soon I was eating apples, grapes, oranges and I even ventured into vegetables one week when my mom brought home a bag of baby carrots. Well, now I'm on to the forbidden fruit: the strawberry. It has affected the way I live. I find myself sleeping in later and staying awake at night just thinking about strawberries. I quit my job in home security and I stopped going to obedience school. Am I on the brink? Is this blog a cry for help? Deep down I hope the cats will do an intervention.

Miscommunication

The other day, my dad was talking to a friend of his who was fluent in french. She told him that he was mispronouncing the command of "lacher" (let go) when he said "lecher" (lick). Now it all makes sense. I couldn't figure out how he wanted me to lick when I was in the middle of a tug-o-war game.

Brushing My Teeth Pug Style

I've been working on this nyla bone since I was a baby. I can't seem to make a dent in it, but I'm not deterred. Nothing like a long term project. Is there a nyla bone chewing olympics?

Field Trip

Today my dad took me to a race he was running. At one time I was a running pug. I once ran a 10K in under 50 minutes which is near the world record for pugs. I retired when I turned 21 (dog years). Now I'm more into sitting on laps and looking cute.

Expert Walking Pug

Nothing like a good walk. Owners really don't know how to walk. They just stick to the sidewalk and walk at the same speed. How boring. I'm a lucky pug because my Dad lets me walk without the leash pending I stay close, come when called, never touch asphault and never cross a street without first sitting and waiting for the right command. This took me about 2 years to learn but it was worth the wait.

Willy

Today on my afternoon walk I ran into my friend Willy. Last weekend Willy went on a big walk and his paws got worn down and sore. He's doing a lot better today but I still found myself running circles around him.

Staking my Claim

Someone tried to claim the rock wall in my front yard as their territory. Today, I took it back. That's my rock wall!

Odwalla

I love Odwalla. I'll sit like a good boy for however long it takes just to get one delectable drop. Today I was lucky enough to finish off a bottle from Mama and Dada. I'm going on a walk soon, then dinner, and then I think I'll call it a night.